My life as Kait: February 2014

I made it! And just in time to allow my parents to go on vacation and not worry! It's been a long two weeks. The last time I wrote was after my first night home from the hospital. Since then, probably 85% of the swelling has gone down and I am off my liquid only diet. I'll post pictures below of my progress since I have been eager to see when the most dramatic change happened. When I got home from the hospital last Monday, I genuinely felt like I was nursing the world's cruelest, most perpetual hangover. Blinding pain, extreme nausea and throwing up, totally out of it, and plain miserable. There was little change from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday since I couldn't eat anything. The narcotics they gave me trigger a brain response in your thalamus to make you overwhelmingly nauseated at the sight, smell and taste of things. I'm not really a throw-up kind of gal, but I quickly became one. The types of things my stomach could stand one minute, became a nightmare the next. The absolute worst was all the liquid medicine I had to take since my mouth was unable to open. I didn't keep careful track, but I lost about 8lbs the first week.
However, that changed when I had my first post-op visit with my surgeon a week later and got my stitches out (An anticipated traumatic experience based on my childhood). I was ready for a bloodbath. The surgical residents in the hospital, as previously mentioned, weren't the peachiest of peaches, but the one that always took my molds and did the consulting was super nice. He took the 4 stitches I had on my jawline out, since they had to go through my cheek to access the site they wanted to cut and screw back together. The best part about him taking them out, was that he did it without touching my skin. He literally snipped and pulled them without manhandling my face like a doll. The sensation was cringe-worthy but he moved so quickly I didn't have time to mull it over. Well done, sir.
The best part came when they took x-rays of my face and showed me where they placed all the plates and screws. My mom was fascinated and revolted at the same time and I was just way too hungry to listen intently. I have two plates, each anchored by 4 screws on either side of my nose and 3 screws on each side of my face in the middle of my jaw line.

I was kept on liquids for another week, but since my nutrition was so poor, he told me if I don't have to chew it and it doesn't make me sick I can eat it. Cue brownie batter and McDonald's soft serve. I took myself off the narcotics since I didn't have pain fluctuations when I took tylenol instead so I figured it would help the nausea. And let me tell you, it made the world of difference.
Suddenly, I could eat and not want to die shortly afterward. I didn't gag (as much) when I choked down orange flavored baby tylenol. And after a day or so, I felt like one thousand bucks (not quite a million yet). I started catching up on my school work and even started going back to school the following Tuesday. I went to 3 days of school and didn't need a nap! Better yet, the swelling is down to a point where I just look a little odd, or that I was previously really heavy and lost weight everywhere but my face. Luckily, I'm pretty unknown on campus, so no one even noticed unless I was friends with them.
At my second post-op appointment this week, my bite continued to be perfect as all of my teeth touch at the same time now, a sensation I haven't experienced in over 2 years. More than that, I was officially taken off the liquid diet and moved to soft, mushy semi-liquid foods for the next 4 weeks. My dreams of eating a sandwich and being able to run again are in sight. My surgeon says I am recovering very well and faster than he expected. My mom and I were talking yesterday and she pointed out that literally two weeks ago, I had a major, 6-7 hour surgery and it was just like I got a tooth pulled. It doesn't feel like I had a huge surgery two weeks ago, because I genuinely got so bored sitting around all day waiting to get better that I decided to get a move on with my life. I want to get exercising again so that I can make it to the half marathon in May and start pushing myself back into the thick of my last semester as an undergrad. I have too many things I want to do as a healthy person right now that sitting and feeling sorry for myself that my face was peeled apart isn't something I have time for or am interested in doing. I am healthier than I have been in my whole life right now, even with limitations on my body. I haven't had to take my inhaler since my surgery, and that was something I had to do religiously 3 times a day. As I am typing this, my mouth is closed and I am breathing through my nose fully. And lastly, something I had wished for since it was brought to my attention when I was probably 8 and constantly prevented me from approaching new people confidently is gone. The nasal quality of my voice, making me sound like I have a perpetual cold is gone. I have a neutralized, standard voice that will not compel people to tell me how weird my voice is or how different I sound. The lady at the speech clinic where I'm trying to build experience to access a career later no longer has the finger to point at me suggesting speech therapy since my voice is no longer abnormal. It was an unexpected gift of the surgery and something that has really taken the edge off of meeting new people and seeing where my future can take me. Two weeks ago, if you asked me if I am glad I got this surgery, I would have said hell no. My mom told me that the first words I said to her in the recovery room where "why did I do this to myself?". If you ask me right now, my answer is 100% yes, I am so happy I went through this surgery. If you ask me again when I can start eating without excruciating pain, and running without feeling like my heart could explode my answer will most likely be 200% yes. My quality of life, in a matter of 7 hours is 180 degrees different in ways that I never even considered it could improve. I still have a ways to go fixing the gaps in my bite because everything got moved around, but that's just braces. I did that for 3 years so 3 months won't kill me.
I have decided with my newly renewed lease on life, I want to take the energy and the health I got back and turn it into something good. I have decided to sign up to be a runner to raise money for the Dana-Farber Institute. I'll probably write about that in the next week or so when I figure out the route I am going to take, but all I know right now is that it's going to happen and I'm going to help change lives and change my own too.

This picture above is roughly 3 hours post op, the swelling hidden by the ice packs, nose drip catcher and oxygen mask. It probably doubled by the next day.