I am not a runner. I am not athletic. I am not able to become a runner or athletic.
These are things that up until last week I repeated in my head. But it has
stopped and I have a new reel of phrases that I tell myself. “I will become a
runner”, “I can do this” “Just do better than yesterday”.
By
April, a previously self-described “lazy turd” is going to run a half marathon.
I am
not doing this for anyone but myself. When I would get bursts of wanting to be
physically fit, it wasn’t because I wanted to do it for me; it was because I wanted
other people to see me a certain way. Fortunately, this time, I don’t care what
other people think of my goal. I would be thrilled to develop a support unit,
but if people don’t think I can do it, even better. I cannot wait to prove you
wrong. Deep down, this is a journey for me to see how much I can accomplish. I know
I have a strong mind, but I want a body to match. And here is where I start.
A week
and a half ago, I wasn’t sure that I could run half a mile. I also hold the
belief that treadmills ruin lives. I absolutely LOATHE treadmills. As I sat in
my room before class, I got an unshakable feeling that I wanted to run. I decided
right then and there that I was going to…..tomorrow. But then I remember being
like “no. this starts today”. I got up,
full of motivation, tied my shoes and walked outside. I ran a mile. Motivation literally
drove me past a point at which I whole-heartedly thought I would have to stop
at. The smile that was probably on my face was outrageous. I loved it. I signed
up for a 5k later that day.
A 5k
may not seem like something that should be counted as a huge accomplishment,
but to me it is. It’s going to mark the start of my road racing journey and it’s
going to be absolutely amazing when I finish. It might be a little dramatic if I
tear up when I do finish, but I’ll probably want to. Given the amount of
limitations I thought I had on being able to be physically active, this is so
liberating. I spring out of bed in the morning to run before class and I don’t
mind that much. I find myself getting lost on runner’s websites and forget that
I have other things to do. I have such positivity in the fact that after just
about 2 weeks in, this is going to become a part of my life. I also cannot wait
to look back on my accomplishments in a month or two and think “I can’t believe
I was so excited that I ran two miles!”
My focus is locked on the half marathon in
April, and up until then, I am going to do 5 and 10k races to give myself
little milestones along the way. The support unit I have already started
developing is awesome. My mom even offered to bike alongside me sometimes. My
friend is going to help me get to and run the half with me. The support I am
giving to myself is keeping myself honest and realistic. I also am not going to
allow myself to give up. I have to get a massive jaw surgery within the next
month or two and my doctor said that I won’t be able to run for a few weeks,
but he didn’t say I couldn’t speed walk! Loopholes rock! I’m not going to let
things hold me back, physically and mentally. I am going to do this.
