I am not a fan of driving..let alone driving alone...especially at night. SO in honor of this uneasy, unavoidable task of life, I have compiled a list of the top 5 songs that after being listened to properly, you will arrive at your destination safely without getting axed by some psycho crazy mofo.
Spoiler Alert: I did not include the classic car song "Total Eclipse of the Heart" due to the reasons above. It sparked a horrifying memory of the movie Urban Legends and when I watched it in fourth grade and a chick was singing that song loudly right before a man popped up from the back seat and axed the crap out of her.
1. "Papi" Jennifer Lopez http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XbIuSLaCnk&ob=av3e
I can't not include this song. Not only do I picture her in the commercial for the KIA singing this, or her performing...from that very car, product placing the bejesus out of multiple aspects of whatever I was watching, but I picture a 40-something year old cougar bustin' moves in da club calling many of her 20-something "cubs" Papi...though they should be calling her "Mami"... or just you know... "Mom".
2. "Come on Eileen" Dexys Midnight Runners http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc-P8oDuS0Q
Too-ra loo-ra too-ra loo-rye ah.
Question: When has a fiddle and that classic '80's vibe been so much fun to drive to? Answer: ALWAYS. After the initial excitement of the fiddle intro and the prospective joy that is about to fill your body, you turn it up and look around...realize you are alone and before you know it...doop-da-doo doop-da-doo your head starts bobbing and the fear of an ax murderer in your backseat is a silly myth...at least until it ends.
3. "Burn It to the Ground" Nickelback
Hah... please. As quoted from the food network show "Crave" "The only way this could get any better is if every time I took a bite, Nickelback broke up". Hint Hint...nudge nudge.
4. That song in the first Narnia movie when they go to battle.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zoAhKNwnfQ
You just automatically feel ungodly epic. Nay...you just feel Godly. Period. It's seven minutes of pure magic. No lion, witch or wardrobe needed here... you've just got you, your song and you destination seconds away because your driving time flies by, like the wind of Narnia.
5."Behind These Hazel Eyes" Kelly Clarkson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yipoOY56MbM&ob=av3e
Not only is this a good belting number, but the drumming makes you want to pound good ol' 10 and 2...or 9 and 3 if you are under the age of 40 emphasizing the beat. In some personal instances, I distinctly remember clutching my fists, closing my eyes (briefly...I am driving here) and actually trying to hit the notes that my girl Kelly makes sound like butter. Good luck.
I hope this helps those who literally fear driving alone due to the fact that an ax murder may be crouched down in the back seat waiting to slice your skin off and kill you.
<3
